The Meaning of Adulthood

I turned 25 six days ago and I really felt the shift in becoming this milestone age.

I felt... older. 

Since turning 18, I've been anxious about adulthood and how to do it and do it well. Adulthood has always felt like a great achievement that seemed so out of my reach. But six days ago something changed.

I'm starting to think that adulthood isn't something to achieve, or earn, or a phase. It's more of a... responsibility.

Adulthood does not require me to be perfect or spectacular or together. It does require me to consider how my life affects the world around me. Adulthood means that I have less room to be inconsiderate. 

I want to accept this responsibility while also allowing myself the grace to make mistakes and grow. I must not give into despair. I was watching Avatar today and Uncle Iroh said something that struck me emotionally:

You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.

Adulthood means, for me, that it's my job to give myself hope. I need to inspire and motivate myself. Failing this, I need the self-discipline to do what's necessary, no matter how inspired I feel. And failing this, if I find myself falling, or paralysed, or completely hopeless and I've fallen to the darkness I said I would avoid, I would quietly forgive myself and lean on those I trust, so I do not stand in darkness alone.

And although I said that adulthood is not an achievement for me, making it to 25, still being alive despite many many many times I've wished for otherwise, feels like an accomplishment.

No matter what happens, I made it this far and I am proud of myself.