The Meaning of Adulthood

I turned 25 six days ago and I really felt the shift in becoming this milestone age.

I felt... older. 

Since turning 18, I've been anxious about adulthood and how to do it and do it well. Adulthood has always felt like a great achievement that seemed so out of my reach. But six days ago something changed.

I'm starting to think that adulthood isn't something to achieve, or earn, or a phase. It's more of a... responsibility.

Adulthood does not require me to be perfect or spectacular or together. It does require me to consider how my life affects the world around me. Adulthood means that I have less room to be inconsiderate. 

I want to accept this responsibility while also allowing myself the grace to make mistakes and grow. I must not give into despair. I was watching Avatar today and Uncle Iroh said something that struck me emotionally:

You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.

Adulthood means, for me, that it's my job to give myself hope. I need to inspire and motivate myself. Failing this, I need the self-discipline to do what's necessary, no matter how inspired I feel. And failing this, if I find myself falling, or paralysed, or completely hopeless and I've fallen to the darkness I said I would avoid, I would quietly forgive myself and lean on those I trust, so I do not stand in darkness alone.

And although I said that adulthood is not an achievement for me, making it to 25, still being alive despite many many many times I've wished for otherwise, feels like an accomplishment.

No matter what happens, I made it this far and I am proud of myself.

Just Some Thoughts 002

1. Adulthood isn't an achievement or milestone, it's a responsibility. To think beyond myself. To pay attention to the world around me, both locally and globally, and continue looking no matter what I see. It's accepting that my being here will have an effect for better or for worse so I should try my best to make it for better. To realise that I'm not just an individual in the world, but a part of what makes the world and it would be better if I were consciously connecting to others who are also making the world, but better.

Also I should learn how to drive.

2. For a long time I've felt a weird discomfort when reading stories about people who defied stereotypes by achieving things that are statistically unlikey for someone of their demographic. I didn't know exactly why but it just felt... off. It wasn't until I came across this quote one time on twitter that felt like the biggest eureka moment (except I have a feeling a eureka moment is supposed to be an idea I came up with lol). I pressed like, probably retweeted, but when I tried to find it again, I couldn't. I scrolled down my timeline, searching using keywords I tried to remember, but couldn't. I've been trying for over a year. But I found it again, reading an article on respectable politics:

Uplifting stories that leave out structural barriers, let alone the need for political struggle to correct those barriers, can gloss over the enormous challenges the poor face in an era marked by downward mobility. (Fredrick C. Harris, "The Rise of Respectability Politics", Dissent Magazine)

I think we (I don't who "we" are...) have to move beyond celebrating exceptional cases, and moving towards addressing, organising, and changing the systems that creating the norms that the privileged and brilliant few break through.

While also still celebrating important achievements and milestones of individual cases?

3. There's a minimalist on YouTube who I found, Youheum, and I love putting her videos on in the background as my white noise. That's pretty antithetical who her lifestyle as someone who is mindful and actively chooses silence over background noise but hey, I bet she wouldn't judge me for my choices (she said so in a video). I like the idea of minimalism, at least how she talks about it. You can find her at: Heal Your Living.